Restart Button....

Assalamualaikum and Hi,

It's been agesssss since I last wrote something here. Life has been different, a lot . I am now a working mom with 3 lil boys.

Should restart blogging ( I'm active on FB though) I supposed - ranting on daily life. Something that could be useful (hopefully) if not for others, maybe for the future ''me' or my own kids (I might write things about them, a lot).

Time passes . People say the past has died and the future is yet to be born. So hopefully I could write about the present here. Some days (or many of the days) would be missed by the future me...

See. I have never imagined to live my life as today. Subhaanallah. Sometimes I try to recall the past, but unfortunately some have gone , vanished , deleted from my memory - okay with the bad ones but good and sweet memories should remain. Sob sob sob..

Ahh. Tonight I suddenly miss Canterbury. Hmm. Always, to be honest.

....

2018.

A Fresh, New Chapter

Bismillah, walhamdulillah, 

Today is 28th January 2014, and alhamdulillah I have become a wife to a loving husband for 1 month. May our marriage last till our last breath and may Allah keep us together in Jannah too, ameen ya Allah. 

It's been nearly a month staying in Japan , accompanying Mr. Husband who is in the midst of his final exams and final year research. Insya-Allah may Allah make everything smooth and easy for him, ameen..

Becoming a wife for a month, I have learnt a lot yet loadssss awaiting to be learnt- In fact, I am learning about many things day by day, including about my husband. Getting to know him better- what he likes and what he doesn't etc. 

Staying in Japan is indeed a great experience. I am amazed with the Japanese people's good attitude and politeness. I love to hear the words ending with "mas/masu" a lot each time I go to public places like konbini (just like 7Eleven), restaurants, cafes or shops here (You will hear these "masu" words upon walking into the places , while paying at the cashier and upon leaving). Among the little that I understand is "arigatou gozaimasu" which means "Thank You". haha. I really feel like a stranger/ghuraba' being in the midst of people who communicate using Nihon go (including the times when Mr. Husband converses with his friends). But alhamdulillah, translation is always there when required. Thanks to those who always understand the uneasiness of "keeping silent with constant smile"- just because I don't have the language--- they translated the words/sentences for me! :) Ala kulli haal, alhamdulillah. It helps me to use my little skills of understanding some words through the context. Sometimes my guesses are right. Sometimes. =D

Not going to mention about the modern technology and the efficient services here, but I'd love to share another thing that amazed me a lot. I am not quite sure but when I asked Mr. Husband he said it is common to leave the house safely unlocked. Wow! I'm sure this is realllly rare in Malaysia or even UK. Husband said "org jepun buat keje sndiri je tak kisah hal org lain." huhu. In a way, bagus juga ye tak kisah hal orang. hehe. 

And yes, I am glad to see strong relationship/ukhuwwah among Malaysians here. And I'm learning the ways of how ikhwah/guys make their friendship stronger- the way they gurau senda etc - reaaally different to what girls always do. :D But alhamdulillah,from what I have seen so far, they are all really helpful and easy-going. :) May Allah bless them all.

That's all for now. Below are some photos of this fresh, new chapter of my life... Assalam..

5 January 2014 , Niigata.
 Introducing Mr. Husband. :)

28 Dec 2013, The Big Day. Besut.
Wedding gifts (which I had not any chance to open before leaving  huhu). Jazakumullahu khaira, many thanks!

1st January 2014, Toyama.
Dinner. Some of the girls Amira, Munirah, Yasmin, Mazni and me...

18 Jan 2014, University of Toyama.
Soubetsukai / Farewell Party for the Final Year students.

The Meaning of Life

A beautiful poem with a deep meaning... Subhanallah.
Source: http://zegasi.deviantart.com/art/PLEASE-READ-THE-MEANING-OF-LIFE-416656936
Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d16CpWp-ok

What are we doing here and where are we going to go
It's like we just woke up one morning and then it's welcome to the show.
Don't ask any questions just go with the flow,
Make as much money as you can and try your best not to get broke,
Copy everything you see on the tv From the hairstyles to the clothes
And don't think too often just do exactly as your told
And if You ever get confused then turn towards the alcohol.
You still hear your thoughts? then just turn up the radio,
As you learn to live a lifestyle of drugs,sex and rock n roll.

But in all honesty I just need to know,
Is there more to the cycle than growing and getting old,
Living and dying just to leave behind a happy home,
And a whole lot of property that somebody else is going to own.
I just really need to know before the caskets closed,
Cause I'm not willing to gamble with my soul nor am I ready to take any chances,
These are just simple life questions and I'm just searching for some answers,
Like what are we doing here and what is our purpose,
How did we get here and who made us so perfect,
And what happens once we go or is this world all really worth it,
Questions we don't answer because apparently we don't really have to
There's no purpose to this life and our existence merely natural?
In that case please let me ask you.

Did you create yourself or was it somebody else that had fashioned you?
Because you're a being that's impeccable faultless and unparalleled.
You are a product of supreme intelligence and I'm merely being rational,
For there isn't a camera on this earth that can come close to the human eye
Nor a computer that can compete alongside the human mind
And If the whole world was to come together we wouldn't be able to create a single fly
So many signs yet we still deny
As science tries to justify that all this could come from none
When It's a simple sum Zero plus zero plus zero cannot possibly ever give you one.
So from where did all this order come?
For everything has it's origins, a maker, a creator of it's own
I mean the only reason your reading this text is because somebody had to press upload
So you can believe in the Big Bang but I'd rather Believe in He who caused it to explode.
Allah, The creator of the universe along with every single soul
The Everliving, the Master the only one who is in control
Unlike his creation, beyond our imagination And NO -
He's not a man nor has he any partners in association,
He's on his own.

And neither did He ever leave us alone.
Just like every manufacturer he left us with an instruction manual,
The Quran and Islam and I'm sorry to jump to conclusions but it's the only one possible.
The only definition of God as the One and Only, supreme being its logical,
A book with zero contradictions and miracles that are both scientific and historical.
All revealed over 1400 years ago
Like the detailed description of the human embryo
To the mountains as pegs holding firm the earth below
and the two seas that don't mix in a complete separate flow
to the planets in orbit alternating night and day as they stay in float
The expansion of the Universe and the creation of everything from H20
to the stories of the past and the preservation of Pharaoh.
To identifying the lowest point in the land where Persia defeated Rome
The gushing fluid that created man in the glands between the ribs and the backbone.
And not a word has changed it's still the same
So please explain how all this was known..... over 1400 years ago?
To a man who couldn't read or write, as he would recite what the angel spoke.
And if you still don't believe please come up with something that's even close.
But you can't.

So we took God as a mockery and his Messengers as a joke
Dismissed his scriptures as legends and tales of the ancient folk.
As we live life according to our whims, desires and hopes
Saying this life is the only home we will ever know
We will live then die and simply turn to bones YOLO.
Correction: After the grass dies the rain arrives it re-grows
And Allah promises to do the same thing to your very soul
And bring you back from your very fingertips to your toes.
As the All Seeing Supreme Being watches us so close
as we are surely being tested.

In Our wealth, our health, our self and everything that we've been blessed with
So believe for we will surely be resurrected.
And be brought to Lord in account for every single deed
As he hands us our books and orders us to "READ!"
From the bad to the good and everything in between
You, yourself are sufficient for your own accountability
So Don't be mad at me, Your Lord says... YOU WERE THE ONE WHO THOUGHT HE WOULDN'T COME
BACK TO ME I gave you a whole life long to search after
me But you were busy chasing all that which was
temporary So read, and glad tidings to all those who believed,
but if you disbelieve,
READ And don't let that day be the first day you
find out what life really means. READ

Not a new self but a better self hopefully..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,
Salam 'alayk.

Alhamdulillah it's 21st of January and another year has passed. A one-year addition to my age has been marked yesterday (but according to Hijri calendar I have turned 25 since months ago). Nothing more that I want from Himー other than having all the past years' blessed by Him, and so do the upcoming. Plus, the endless forgiveness from Him, for everything this weak and poor servant of Him has done wrong..

And for the people I love, I pray that Allah gives the best of His rewards : good health, imaan, forgiveness, blessings, blessed rizq and His ever greatest place for all mu'min; Jannah. InsyaAllah..

Thanking everyone for all the warm wishes - may Allah grant all of them the same that    they wished Allah grant me ( or even better ) Ameen..

Feeling so blessed, I am married for nearly one month:) Indeed, it is a great blessing from Allah for sending a soleh husband to accompany my remaining journey in this dunya. InsyaAllah, deep in my heart I hope I could be the best wife to him, ameen..

Not to forget my Mum who has done a lot for me since I was in her womb.. and my father too.. Allah, rabbirhamhuma .. Rabbighfirli wa li walidayya warhamhuma kama robbayaani sogheero. Bless them with the best of health too.. Ameen. :')

p.s: May Allah make everything easy for my husband , Ameen.

November it is..

12 November 2013

Tuesday

Fare you well, LeBEST

Only 3 days left including today before the longgg school holidays start insya-Allah.

Alhamdulillah Allah has planned the best for me that I was offered to teach in one of the project schools, SMK LembaH Bidong or also known as LeBEST; Lembah Bidong Elite School of Terengganu.

Thursday, insyaAllah, will be my last day here. Technically, this is my 3rd school as a teacher. Still waiting to be called for my first placement as a qualified teacher , insyaAllah. (which I don't have any clue at all of where and when it would be.just keep praying..). Let's make our best du'a and pray hard that Allah places me in a good school ( good: easy for me travel everyday, easy for me to travel back home (mums and dads') and near to my *ehem* future husband soon insyaAllah. plus, a place where I find PEACE. Ameen.)

Please make du'a ye everyone.. :-) May Allah bless. 

Graduation Ceremony

Yosh. May Allah make my parents and me HAPPY and GRATEFUL on my upcoming graduation day in Serdang. Won't be going to the one in Canterbury - no financial budget .... 

Preparation

In the midst of preparing for something big. May Allah make everything smooth, easy and be blessed. May everyone be happy on this. Ameen3x ya Allah. 

A Special Thank You

A special 'thank you' for everything......

Congratulations!

Too many Wedding invitations on Facebook! =) To all the newlyweds and future grooms and brides, Barakallahulakum ! May Allah bless your marriage. May Allah ease everything for you. Have a barakah walima  insyaAllah... 

nfe

lb

Why I Keep Diaries....

Bismillah.
Salam Alayk to all.

Would like to share something today- why I write diaries? Some people like, but some prefer not to write what they feel or what they experience in their daily lives. I choose the former since to me, writing a diary provides me some time to reflect on myself,  what has happened to me,  the kinds of people that I met and the sorts. All in all, it is such a reflection on my LIFE.

However, based on what I always do, I found out that writing a diary could not be done without feelings. Things that I write should come deep from my heart otherwise I won't be able to write. Not saying that I write well without any flaws- I just simply write, as long as the words are coming from my heart. That is what makes my fingers work (read: write).

The time I write something in my diary is a time for me to talk to myself, and connect to Allah. This is because the moment I start writing, only my heart speaks and only Allah hears. I love to include my du'a / prayers too, in each of my entry - a lot. Hence when I look back and re-read them, I could feel that I am actually 'speaking; to Allah. That's what I treasure most as far as keeping a diary is concerned. A therapy indeed!

I sometimes forget what I have written in my diaries..Not saying that they are not from my heart, but maybe because I simply wrote without deep thinking. They are merely feelings that are turned into words.

A RELIEF.. Yes, I normally feel a bit relieved after  letting everything out of my chest - in a form of a diary entry. The problem gets lighter, the burden seems to disappear, sometimes. No one knows, no one listens to me. But what keeps me moving is - Allah is always up there, waiting for me to plead. Supplications. Du'a (in the form of written words)-A great way to get connected to Allah, other than solat and reciting Al-Quran. Alhamdulillah...

All in all, I am not urging you to write a diary, but I'm just sharing what I personally feel about keeping a diary. There are many other ways to keep you calm when the time is hard and to share the joyous moments in your lives. You choose you way. I have found mine. Talk to myself first (and Allah) through my writing then only I share with the ones I trust and love. A human being, I am.  :)



Disclaimer: This is based on my personal view, nothing to do with facts. =)
p.s: I don't write everyday.  I write in books/on paper that I could reach whenever I don't bring my diary/microsoft word.

nfes
lembah bidong

...

Allah is giving us.........

H A P P I N E S S

B L I S S

G O O D  H E A L T H

W E A L T H

etc..

and the underlying message is...

Allah is TESTING us...

What's in that handbag?

-memories at BCGS, Kent UK-

I'm falling in love

with this noble profession,

again.

I learn to start stepping

on the ground full of

HOPE

and

CHALLENGES.

I'm here

not to just tell them

A comes before B

and Z is the 26th letter

but

I come to

EDUCATE 

and at the same time

LEARN from them.

I used to be 'them'

And now

I am stepping

ahead.

Standing in front of them.

- yes, 

this teaches me the meaning of

RESPONSIBILITY.

I am here for a 

MISSION. 

So,

I should bring more than a

RED PEN

BLACK PEN

MARKER PEN

TIMETABLE

MINI NOTEBOOK

in my 

HANDBAG.

But,

I need endless

PASSION

and 

PATIENCE,

DETERMINATION

BELIEF

HOPE

PRAYER

and the sorts

in my 

HEART.

O God, 

Guide me all the way.....

16:00
Lembah Bidong
ema sensei

Make Us Grateful To You Ya Allah.....

Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah...

Subhanallah, alhamdulillah, Allahu akbar..
O Allah.. Make me amongst Your most grateful servants ya Allah.
There's no word to describe how grateful I am to You.

For everything you have planned.
For everything You have granted me.
For everything You have given to me.
For everything You have decided for me.
For every tear that reminds me of You.
For every moment that brings me back to You.
For every test that makes me closer to You.
For every second of making me a servant of You.
For everything..Just everything..

Allah..
Thank You, all praises to You for the countless blessings....

In Surah Ibrahim, verse 34 Allah says..:

And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the Blessings of Allâh, never will you be able to count them.

And in Surah Annahlu, verse 18, Allah says again..:

And if you would count the graces of Allâh, never could you be able to count them. Truly! Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

These are the answers. I tried to count all of His blessings on me but I failed. :')

Reflecting on my past, I should have been more grateful than I am today.
Thinking about what Allah has granted me, I should have become the most obedient servant of Him.
Realising how much sins I have committed, I do not deserve all these....

Nevertheless....

Allah is the Most Forgiving, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, the Most Glorious, and after all, 

ALLAH knows BEST.

:')

Alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah.

Panorama Before my BFG June 2012

Canterbury City Centre

City Centre

 The River Stour

 Westgate 

Looks like blackseed flower? (bunga habbatussauda' ke ni?)

At Westagte Gardens

*BFG: Back For Good