one by one...

can't wait to finish everything off.

and start doing my summer-break-to-d0 list.

beberapa plan dlm kepala..

Allahu musta3an..

~ moga ceria selalu ~

It's not always..

One more paper to go.

"Save the best for last" -It's not always like this.

It may rather be the worst.

O Allah, please make everything easy for us, ameen..

Remember..... :

" Words may not break bones, but they do break hearts! "

Deep Processing...

" You were the sun that brightened my day

Now who’s going to wipe my tears away

If only i knew what i know today

Mother i’m lost without you "

Lagu Sami Yusuf terus menjadi teman setia, sesetia air mata yang terus-terusan tumpah..

8 May 2011

I suppose it's reaching the limit now. I have tried, my best. To act like grown ups. To show that I am able to carry myself, handle my own feelings with care, and most importantly to achieve my own target of being a better person compared to before. Last year was my first time being afar for a very long period of time. 13 Sep-5 July. It was almost one year. Never had I thought that I could be that 'strong' ... But alhamdulillah, the 'pain' was paid with a 2-and-a-half-month break, spending almost all the time with beloved family. But it wasn't that 'satisfactory' for me since I think I didn't do much as a child to my parents; neither being helpful enough, nor showing enough care and love to them..

'Ala kulli hal, alhamdulillah. I couldn't deny that it really worked as therapy for me, having said that it has reached the limit (as what I'm facing now ). The break was a real 'break' that I wasn't anymore 'engaged' to things like the haunted essays, bundles of reading and the suffering from non-stop homesickness. (It was rather worse when I lost my beloved grandma a few days after my arrival. ) Alhamdulillah.. I don't think I can stand up till today without that therapy. (Allah knows best and He has planned what's best for me)

Personally, when reflecting myself a few months back, I could say that I am getting 'stronger' - I cried less ;-) .. Thanks to everything that keep myself busier compared to my First Year. Alhamdulillah, that's the 'hikmah'. Mum always says: "It's not only you, it's me too, who feels the same thing. I did this, and that, to lessen it.*rindu, teringat2* And so do your friends I guess..Be patient.. It's only 3 months. or 2 months. or 50 days." (She even does the countdown!) and she sometimes makes some jokes or tries hard to change the mood- "Macam mana nak duduk jauh nanti kalau sekarang pun macam ni.." and I know what she did was predicting my future married life. ;-) " Oh Mum.." I was speechless. One thing that I really hope is that I will get a really understanding life partner in the future, ameen.

8 May-13 JUne

It's +- one month left! And I have got too many things to think and settle before I am again back home. InshaAllah..I suppose people sometimes become stressful or depressed and homesick due to the excess thinking their minds do =)

I wont do the list here.

But, I hope everyone who reads this will pray for my success in my upcoming Final Exams and may Allah grant me happiness and peace at heart always..

***********************************************

Silence.

People shouting outside.

Cars.

No more Sami Yusuf's song.

Silent moonlight.

Silence. and peace. and tears.

Good night...

***********************************************

And I call this:

Deep processing.

For me to become a better child.

a better friend.

and.

a better person.

InshaAllah.

*air mata , kian kering*

These words are not enough...

Selamat Hari Ibu..Selamat Hari-hari..

Sejak dua menjak, diri ini seakan 'hilang ingatan'. Lupa hari, lupa tarikh. Sehingga berkali-kali ucap: Selamat Hari Ibu buat ibu tercinta. Barangkali ibuku sudah muak dengan ucapan 'selamat hari ibu', tahun ini saja =p

Tidak. Seorang ibu sudah tentu menghargai setiap saat bersama , setiap bait yang terucap dari bibir seorang anak..

Log in FB- rutin harianku jika laptop di 'on'.

Penuh di wall.

Ucapan hari ibu.

Gambar ibu-ibu.

Perkongsian lagu-lagu berkisar tentang ibu.

Video-video tentang ibu.

Gembira. Tumpang gembira buat teman-teman semua.

Sayu. Bilamana ternampak status teman yang ibunya telah kembali menemui Ilahi.

Sebak, membaca entry2 blog tentang ibu masing2.

Air mata tumpah.

Seribu cerita, sejuta rasa.

Alhamdulillah.

Dalam tiap kata-kata , itulah DOA.

Dalam tiap detik hati, itulah DOA.

Semoga kita semua tetap dan selamanya mengasihi Ibu kita, dengan sebenar-benar kasih sayang. Moga kita dikurniakan ketetapan iman, untuk terus berbakti kepada Ibu (dan Ayah) selama mana mereka masih di dunia. Semoga kita terus-terusan memanjatkan doa buat Ibu (dan Ayah) andai mereka kembali menemui Pencipta..

Sayu. Sebak.

Dalam hati, ada doa, penuh pengharapan..

Benar, cinta dan kasih sayang, bukanlah sesuatu yang kita CIPTA, namun ianya sesuatu yang TERCIPTA...

Alhamdulillah, atas nikmat yang tiada terhingga...

- Menghitung hari... -

Anakanda,

Canterbury

19:59

Spring 2011